Lowering the Barrier – Deepening Relationships

Over the past few days I’ve been thinking about all of the students across our state and nation who are currently at home, and who have not had much interaction with the protective factor of caring adults outside of their homes whom they normally connect with on a daily and/or weekly basis.  Perhaps we’ll never truly be able to calculate how much of an impact these caring adults have had on the lives of these young people, but we do know from research that this group of adults—teachers, coaches, drama and band instructors, work supervisors, grandparents, aunts/uncles, mentors, youth pastors, community youth advocates, and other youth development professionals—make a positive difference in students’ lives.  I’ve also been thinking about the thousands of youth development organizations across our country who are feeling the consequences of this crisis and now can’t connect with the young people who normally come through their doors. 

In an effort to expand my own perspective on how the youth development field has been impacted by the COVID-19 pandemic and what they’re doing to adapt their programmatic approach during these changing times, I’ve intentionally joined numerous Zoom calls at the local, state and national levels to better understand what the field is up against.  One of the biggest concerns I have taken away from these calls is the realization that organizations that work and interact with young people only when those students are physically present in their programs are now facing significant hurdles in figuring out how to practically and technically support these students.  The reason is that historically, most youth development organizations only work with students when they come through the doors of their buildings—what I would call a youth development “in-reach” model—and now that those students are no longer able to attend in person, staff members are being forced to figure out how to move away from this in-reach programmatic approach and more towards an outreach model. 

One of the main reasons why the barrier is so high for many youth development organizations is because they have had policies, protocols, and systems in place forbidding staff members from reaching out to students after the program day ends.  Toward this end, staff members aren’t allowed to contact students through mail, email, text, cell phones, social media sites, apps, and other web-based platforms, but now that their centers and programs are all closed and social-distancing guidelines rule the land, many of these organizations are having to rethink how to lower the program/organizational barriers so that they can meet students first and foremost where they are—which, right now, is entirely online.     

Today, I am the Senior Program Officer for the Emanuel & Pauline A. Lerner Foundation, which supports a six-year pilot initiative called the Aspirations Incubator. This pilot program is based on a youth development model I helped develop at an organization in midcoast Maine called Trekkers, where I was the founding Executive Director for many years. The Trekkers model is grounded in ten Youth Programming Principles, which all intersect to create a balanced in-reach and outreach approach to youth programming. Fundamentally, the Trekkers model is centered on the practice of developing strong, authentic and long-term relationships with young people by meeting them where they are, not just during scheduled programming. 

Observing youth development organizations struggling to make contact with their students made me realize again just how special the philosophical underpinnings of the Trekkers model really are. While it’s true that during a student’s six-year Trekkers experience they are expected to show up for programs that take place within a school building (in-reach), it’s also true that the most unique part of the Trekkers model has been its commitment to Youth Programming Principle #5: Prioritizing Informal Relationship Building with Youth.  This Principle is about making a programmatic commitment to “showing up” and being present in the lives of young people outside of regular scheduled programming. By designing outreach in the community into the overall program delivery model, staff and caring adult mentors can build even stronger relationships with students and maintain relational links to students even when core programs are not in session.  

Not long after the Trekkers model was beginning to take shape, the idea of prioritizing outreach and informal relationship building as a foundational principle for the evolving organization was put to the test.  Back in 2010, Trekkers was forced to consider expanding its service area to include three additional communities after the state decided to merge the school district we had been working in with a neighboring district.  At the heart of the Board’s discussion back then was whether Trekkers should include these new towns and essentially double our numbers from 120 students to 240, or simply stay local and serve the 120 students that were already in the program.  It was no easy decision, because if the organization expanded to include more communities and doubled its numbers, it would have to grow its budget by over 600% in five years. 

The Board felt that making this costly investment would allow all students attending the newly formed district the same opportunity to participate in the program. Everyone acknowledged that maintaining this type of inclusivity was critical to Trekkers’ mission, because the school district was one of our key partners and the program fully utilized the school and its buildings as the cornerstone for all our work.  Trekkers staff visited the school daily to see our students, ate lunch in the cafeteria, showed up to students’ practices and games after school, and even used classrooms to facilitate all our core programs. Simply put, by choosing to stay local (even though it would be a lot less expensive), Trekkers would inevitably exclude certain students from being able to participate in the program, thus setting up a program within the new district that only served certain students. The Board also realized that if we made the choice to stay local, we would need to rent or buy a building to run our programs.  

As the Board struggled to make a decision, the longest-tenured Board members and founder of the organization spoke up and turned the tide by saying, “If Trekkers does not expand, stays local, and decides to rent a building where students will now have to come to us, it changes the entire philosophical nature of our mission.  We built our youth development model on the idea that we go out and meet students where they are, not on the premise that they meet us where we are.”  He went on to say that the “lower the barrier, the deeper the relationship—and we lead with relationships, not programs.”  The Board took a vote —it was unanimous—and decided to expand. 

By maintaining access to students and meeting them where they were—in a high school hallway, on a middle school baseball field, at a local dance recital, or on social media – Trekkers could continue to lead with relationships, not programs.  The connection point isn’t dependent on a student’s attendance in an afterschool program that takes place from 3-5pm.  The connection points are much more organic—they take place by text, by seeing them in the school parking lot, by direct messaging, by picking them up after school and going for a walk, or by talking on the phone.  Developing these communication pathways deepens the relationship between young people and caring adults in their community.  Students come to understand that participating in Trekkers isn’t participating in a program—it’s participating in a relationship with the caring adults who are a part of the program.  This philosophical approach is the reason why, when social distancing becomes the law of the land, the Trekkers staff can immediately pivot into this new reality without missing a beat.  They can reach out to students by mail, phone, text, social media, or email; they can do an assessment on what their families might need and invite students onto safe online platforms without any of these strategies feeling unnatural or confusing to the students who participate in the program.  

As a result of COVID-19, all of the Program Managers in the Aspirations Incubator have adopted this type of program delivery model, and it has proven to be a lifeline to students and their families during this time.  Our Program Managers are meeting students where they are (online!), helping to meet the needs of their families in whatever way they can, checking in with teachers and school administrators to see how they can help with homework support, getting students Internet access, or helping to hold students accountable for missing assignments. Program Managers are using apps, chat groups, online visiting hours, virtual planning meetings, texting, post cards, phone calls, and FaceTime to stay connected.  As one of our Aspirations Incubator sites said earlier this week, “Our biggest job right now is to make sure that social distancing practices do not equate to our students feeling socially isolated.”

Those of us who work in youth development have known for a long time that loneliness, isolation, and disconnection are infectious diseases that can cause harm to young people and adults alike.  Although the race for the cure for COVID-19 is still being played out, we already know the cure for loneliness—it’s spreading love, kindness, and a sense of belonging.  During this time of uncertainty, it gives me so much hope when I think about the steps our Aspirations Incubator partners have taken to spread this type of love, kindness, and belonging to all their students as an anecdote to fending off loneliness and disconnection.  Over the past couple of weeks, they’ve continually made sure that each of their students knows that they’re loved, that they’re not alone, and that they’re part of something much bigger than just their own family unit.  By doing so, they are repeatedly demonstrating another key philosophical underpinning from the Trekkers model: that programs don’t change lives—relationships do.  Connecting young people with loving, caring, and supportive adult relationships is the program—it is the mission, no matter what.

 May we all strive to keep relationships at the center of all we do, and trust that the power of love and kindness will cure any feelings of fear and disconnection that any of us feels—especially the people who carry the most hope and promise—our young people.